Power comes in daring to be who we were created to be, in learning to love ourselves fully. Fear wages war against love. Fear and intimidation try to keep us captive to live a safe, boxed in life within the expectations of people, culture, religion, and family. Fear coerces us to lessen who we were created to be, our light begins to dim as the battery of our soul is sucked out by the weight of life. Fear traps us. We become paralyzed and unable to move and unable to grow. Anxiety takes over opening the door to depression; because we feel powerless hopelessness tries to set in. Thoughts that bring fear and breed hopelessness try to cloud and fog our minds. However, I have been learning in life I am not powerless. No matter the situation we face there is hope.

A while ago, I read this book called Keep Your Love on Connection, Communication, and Boundaries by Danny Silk there was a section that stood out to me talking about powerful people verses powerless people. He writes, “…Powerful people take responsibility for their lives and choices. Powerful people choose who they want to be with, what they are going to pursue in life and how they are going to go after it.” He goes on to contrast powerless people, “…the defining, driving force of a powerless person is anxiety. Life is scary when you are powerless, when you live in a world where you believe most things and most people are more powerful than you. It’s scary to feel your life is out of control. Powerless people have a deep need to suppress and assuage their abiding fear- fear of loss, pain, death, abandonment, and more. But because they do not have power to deal with their fear, their only hope is to persuade other people to do it for them…they approach relationships as consumers…they will such you dry if you let them…” The chapter goes on contrasting the two groups and the relationship dynamics around powerless people verses powerful people. The part that stood out to me is that powerful people, “…deliberately set the standard for how they expect to be treated by the way they treat others. As they consistently act in responsible, respectful, and loving ways, it becomes clear that the only people who can get close to them are those who know how to show respect, be responsible, and love well. Life does not happen to powerful people. Powerful people are happening- they are happening all the time. They are like a hose that is on full blast in the middle of the mud puddle. The mud does not go up into the hose and contaminate it. Powerful people are not affected or infected by their environment.”

I want to be a powerful person. I truly believe part of becoming a powerful person is learning to love yourself, to come out of a victim mentality into a mentality of victory. People will treat us the way we teach them to treat us. If we let people walk all over us and do not know how to say no we will have unhealthy relationships. I have been growing a lot in setting boundaries and the power of no. I have been learning how to walk in a way where I love people and love myself.I work in full time ministry. I have seen so many people- even as a child growing up in the church- burnout, turn away from the church, and fall into sin. I have seen people who claim to be following Jesus’ abuse others and at the end of the day other Christians justifying the abuse instead of advocating for justice for the victim. If you do not know who you are as a person and in Jesus, you can sadly, very easily be controlled and manipulated. Sometimes people purposely know they are doing these things and abuse others. Other times people are doing their best in a position; but have never fully healed deep wounds and the brokenness in their lives which affects others around them. Bottom line none of us our perfect. We are all messy and growing; but we need to know who we are, or others will tell us who we should be. We need to learn to be whole, healed people who are powerful. I also believe we need a few close people around us to keep us accountable. These are close people who know the core of who we are as human beings, who know are strengths and weaknesses, and who we can be open and vulnerable with. If we do not know who we are and have people around us to help us stay true to that it is so easy to lose who we are. We turn to other things to show us who we are, or we try to be someone we are not and that just leads to a wrestling within our souls. However, when we can truly be who we were meant to be its magically beautiful.

I often imagine what a world would look like where each person freely flowed in the fullness of who they were created to be. Oftentimes, who we are unfolds over time as well. We learn the things that make our souls come alive. We learn our giftings and talents. We learn the things we like and dislike. For me I have found so much freedom in having permission to be myself and stand up for myself. I have learned so much from the life of Jesus and from just really gifted men and women Jesus has used to help me grow in wisdom. I have been finding more and more freedom in shaking off the expectations and weight of others. I also remember Jesus says in Matthew 11:28, “Come to me all you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” I have found rest for my soul in Jesus. I have seen so much cruelty in the world and in religion; but in Jesus I always found so much love, truth, and grace. I believe Jesus desires for us to walk in the fullness of who we are as sons and daughters of God. Creation groans for that revelation to be released that the sons and daughters would arise. I really believe God is raising up many daughters in this time to arise who religion has tried to suppress and silence. Jesus came to bring freedom and life. I decided to break off every expectation and weight of man to please God (Acts 5:29). Every time I am walking with Jesus in the fullness of who I am I have joy, life, and peace! Anytime I try to come under an expectation or weight to conform to something I am not made to be there is anxiety, fear, and my soul feels crushed.

A story in the Bible that always spoke to me was when David went to face Goliath in 1 Samuel 17. All of Israel, this whole nation of people, had the vision and objective to take out Goliath [a huge giant] and the army coming against them. The army Israel under King Saul went out to battle; but stayed camped in fear and took no action against the enemy. They were dressed for battle and had all the training and tools; but fear paralyzed them for they thought the battle was already lost in their minds. However, David comes to visit his warrior brothers on the field to bring some food by the request of his dad. David sees Goliath mocking his brother’s army and mocking God. A holy, righteous anger rises up in David. David stands up and says I will go take this guy out! How dare He say these things against God. His brothers though are like David go home, you are a little boy, and don’t belong here. They call him prideful and arrogant. The King summons David: because he hears David say he will fight Goliath. The king sees him and retorts you are going to lose, because you are just a boy. David does not lose heart though and persuades the King sharing testimonies of victory in his life. Saul is finally like okay, good luck may God be with you. You can fight Goliath. However, before he goes out Saul gives David his battle armor to wear to go and to meet Goliath. David tries on the armor; but takes it off. He was not used to that armor and says confidently I can’t go out to the battle in this. He takes the tools he is used to and goes in confidence to face Goliath. David stands strong as a powerful person even though everyone told him he would lose the battle. He stood strong in who He was and used the tools he was familiar with. He did not try to be Saul and go out in the strategy and armor of Saul. He stood in who He was in and in the confidence of God. He goes out to battle boldly proclaim that God would give him the victory. He marches out the face Goliath and declares, “Today the Lord will conquer you, and I will kill you and cut off your head. And then I will give the dead bodies of your men to the birds and wild animals, and the whole world will know there is a God in Israel…” (1 Samuel 17:46). He indeed does win this battle. He stands in confidence in who He was created to be and in the power of God.

Power comes when we boldy stand in who we were made to be. We were made to walk in victory and to not shrink back! I have learned this in my life and ministry. God created me uniquely with giftings and created me to reach certain people by how he designed me. I can’t take up someone else’s armor or strategy. I can only be Sara Nicole Bennett; but through Jesus I am a beautiful, whole person who can unleash the love of God. He has called me to walk and sit with the broken. He has called me to counsel and encourage my brothers and sisters in the faith and uses me to connect people from different backgrounds together in the family of God. For me love is my superpower. However, I have learned I can only love others well by loving myself. I have been meditating on who is sara at the core of my being? I would even encourage you to sit and reflect on who you are. Learn to celebrate how God made you and top comparing yourself to others. Ask yourself these questions. Who am I? What are the things that make my soul come alive? What are my passions? What are my strengths? What are my weaknesses? How do I personally connect with God? How do I connect with others? What are hobbies I enjoy? Explore who you are.

I know God created me to be a whole person who lacks nothing. No other person is going to be able to make me whole. God created me to know Him, to be loved by Him, to love myself, and overflow with His love to others. I am convinced it is not selfish to take care of yourself, to set boundaries, to have fun, or to rest. Set aside time to do the things you love to write, read, exercise, compose music, or bake. This can even be creating small spaces in the week. Oftentimes, we think we do not have space, but we can create space. Many times, we turn to things like tv or social media to rest; but those things are not bringing life to our soul and often become like black holes consuming our time. I really believe we need to feed our souls and body the same way we feed out spirits. There is beauty when we learn who we are and to walk in who we are created to be! We learn to celebrate and come together as one! This is like a family. Families are not perfect and can be messy; but there is beauty that love is the binding factor (in a healthy family). In healthy family or community, we learn to champion each other and celebrate each other. Also, we learn to have grace for each other in the journey in our weaknesses. At the end of the day, we are human and not perfect. Each of us is on this journey of healing and growth continuously. I’m learning so much to have grace for others and have boundaries. We can love and should have healthy boundaries. I believe God wants us to prosper in every aspect of our lives. We need to learn to dare to be who we were made to be as stand up as complete and whole people, releasing fear, insecurity, and comparison as love floods in. Our love for others flows from a place of receiving love for ourselves and learning to love who we were made to be and walk in this.

Here are some scriptures also on this topic of self-love, value, worth, and boundaries that came to mind as well.

“You should love your neighbor AS YOU LOVE YOURSELF” Matthew 22:39

“We have come into an intimate experience with God’s love, and we trust in the love He has for us. God is love! Those who are living in love are living in God, and God lives through them…Love never brings fear…But loves perfection drives the fear of punishment far away from our hearts…. Our love for others is our grateful response to the love God first demonstrated to us” 1 John 4:16-19 TPT

“I love each of you with the same love that the father loves me. You must continually let my love nourish your hearts” John 15:9 TPT

“How precious also are your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand; when I awake, I am still with you…You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well” Psalms 139:17-18, 13-14

“We are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so we could walk in them” Ephesians 2:10

“Beloved I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers” 3 John 1:2

“Don’t give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you into pieces” Matthew 7:6

“Listen carefully to my words, don’t lost sight of them. Let them penetrate deep into your heart, for they bring life to those who find them, and healing to their whole body. Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life” Proverbs 4:20-23

“..the news about Jesus spread even farther. Massive crowds continually gathered to hear him speak and to be healed from their illnesses. But Jesus often slipped away from them and went into the wilderness to pray” Luke 5:15-16